The Monster Book of Monsters
by muggleriddle
Summary: Although a little violent, 'The Monster Book of Monsters', written by the Brazilian magizoologist Edwardus Lima, is considered by the authorities of magizoology, such as the illustrious Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, one of the best books about high-risk beasts.
1. Brazil, 1940

**Brazil, 1940**

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Edwardus Lima, like many young witches and wizards born in the south of Brazil, didn't have the opportunity to study at the famous Castelobruxo. Actually, he did have the opportunity, but his parents decided that there was no reason for their son to move all the way to the north of the country to study magic when his uncles and aunts and older cousins could teach him. With this education, his higher education would easily be done at the Ondine School of Magical Arts, therefore the trouble to move to study at Castelobruxo was not worth it.

But, after finishing his homeschooling (his grandmother Dercília taught him spells and protections; his cousin Iara, potions; his other cousin, Augustus, mandingas; his grandpa Tião, history and hunting of sea creatures) and his studies at Ondine school, where he dedicated himself to the knowledge of magical beasts of the water, Edwardus decided that a trip to the Amazonas would be a good idea. He could finally see the north of the country, maybe take a look at Castelobruxo and enjoy a few boat trips along the Amazon river to spot magical creatures.

When people said that his city was hot, they surely had never known the weather of the north. The only thing Edwardus wanted to do was to take off his coat and shirt to walk around wearing only his undershirt, and to roll his pants up to his knees, but for the sake of etiquette, he could do no such thing. If he managed to endure the hot weather of the Banishment Island, he could endure Manaus' and its surroundings, right? Well, he could at least try.

Now, there he was, trying not to die by mosquito bites or melted by the hotness while he glided down the Amazon river in a boat conducted by an older wizard that made it look like they'd be attacked at any moment by something that might jump from the water. Maybe, Lima wondered, he should have stayed in Manaus… He had been interested in watching a show of the orchestra that would happen a couple days after he left, with a repertoire of Villa-Lobos. But no. He decided to take a boat and go after magical beasts.

"If you see any movement in the water, stay away from the rails," said the captain, Honorato. "If it's not a Great Snake or the Cuca, it's a non-magical animal that can scratch your eyes out, at least."

"I think I'd be more worried with the Cuca, sir."

"Repeat that after you see a black caiman jump from the water or an ariranha scratch your face off." The old man shrugged and waved his wand over the mast, making it stabilize itself to keep on with their journey.

"Alright," the young man muttered, feeling over his coat for his wand inside the holster. If he was to sleep at the mercy of beasts, he wanted his wand ready. "Do you mind a little music, sir?"

Honorato simply looked at him with tired eyes and shook his head, before disappearing inside the boat. Edwardus, upon seeing himself alone (apparently he was the only wizard to book that trip? Or maybe the other passengers were hiding in their cabins to avoid the sun that had shone during the day) on the deck, took off his linen shirt and let out a relieved sigh as he felt the air on his arms, keeping his undershirt and his suspenders hanging, still attached to his pants, which he _finally_ rolled up to his knees.

With a wave of his wand, the young wizard summoned the gramophone from inside his bag (he still would have to thank his _dindo_ for the enchantment on the bag). The object floated to the floor and a record followed it, attaching itself on it and starting to spin, making the music echo in the darkness around the boat. Smiling, Edwardus put his wand away and threw himself on his hammock hanging on the deck, moving his feet on the rhythm of the music and pulling his hat down onto his face. With a wave of his hand, the lamps' light dimmed.

Lime lied on the hammock for a while, enjoying the song and the gentle rocking of the boat, until he heard muffled footsteps on the wooden floor of the deck. Thinking it was just Honorato, he didn't even bother to take the hat off his face.

"I thought I'd have to wait until the next city to find a ball," said a male voice that, surely, didn't belong to the old captain.

"What?" Edwardus raised his head, opening his eyes to see a young man standing on the deck, rocking from side to side as he followed the music. "Who…? Oh, I'm sorry if the music disturbed you. The captain said-"

"I never said it bothered me." The young man shrugged, before approaching the post on which the hammock was tied to, leaning against it. He must have been another passenger, a smart one that hid from the sun during the day and decided to come out to enjoy the slightly fresher air of the night. "It just surprised me."

"Ah, good." Edwardus smiled, sitting up on the hammock and pulling a face when he felt something poking him on the back. "What the-?" He laughed, pulling from under himself one of the books he had brought with him, a copy of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them._ "I'm Edwardus Lime, what about you, sir?"

"You can call me Rosendo."

The young man smiled and Lima had to admit that he was handsome. The white suit and hat looked a bit risky to be worn in a trip like that, but it wasn't his job to judge it. The man's face was elegant, with thick eyebrows and eagle-like nose that seemed to fit the rest of his features. His smile was white and a little crooked, the left side of his lips pulling a little more than the right one. Oh, _for Marie Laveau_ , he'd have to write to Mira, his he met on a trip to England, to tell her about that handsome wizard from the Amazon river. Curse him and his liking for pretty boys.

"What are you doing around these side of the world, Mr. Rosendo?" asked Edwardus, putting his feet on the floor.

"Discovering new places. Searching for new people."

"You decided to make a trip down the Amazon river just to meet new people?" The wizard laughed.

"I met you, didn't I?" The boy's smile widened and he shook his head along the music, before stretching out his hand to the other. "It's not really a ball, of course, but what do you think? I'm a little bored."

Lima felt his face turn hot, but didn't stop himself form smiling and nod. Well, Honorato was in his cabin, worrying about the Great Snake and the killer ariranhas, he wouldn't show up so early.

"Let's go!"

It was different from dancing amongst the crowd of a ball. It was more silent and intimate, with the moon as their only witness. They danced and twirled and laughed of one another, sharing a kiss or two, before leaning against the rail to look at the white reflex of the moon on the water, which flickered with the movement caused by the boat.

"How about a dip?" suggested Rosendo, winking at him and pointing at the water.

"What?" Lima laughed, shaking his head, but soon his laughter became awkward when he noticed the other young man was dead serious about it. "We can't dive in. There are… There are Great Snakes and alligators and ariranhas…"

"You said you study aquatic animals," said the man, cocking his head to the side and making the brim of his hat hide part of his face. "Do you abstain from entering the sea because of a waterhorse?"

"No, but…" Edwardus looked at the river once again. Actually, on the sea around Floranópolis and its surroundings, he never hesitated to dive in to swim with the water fairies of Santo Antônio or to list the mermaids that hid near the stones of Itaguaçu. "Oh, right… But let's stay near the boat!"

When he turned to the deck once again, Rosend had already taken his clothes off, keeping only his hat, and was balancing on the top of the rail, before jumping. A few drops of water hit Edwardus, who laughed as he watched the other man in the water, as pale as the reflex of the moon and with his white hat clinging to his head, dripping.

"Come on!" the young man called from the water.

After throwing his clothes aside, Lima jumped. The water was not cold, but it was cool compared to the hot air around them. The boys laughed, squeezed water against one another and shared another kiss or two. It was way more fun than what Edwardus Lima had expected form a trip down the Amazon river.

Until Rosendo, who was still laughing, dived and vanished. A minute went by, then two and tree and Lima started to worry. He called for the other, turning around in the water but not seeing any sight of him. His heart started to beat faster after he dived and didn't manage to see anything under the dark water.

And then, a metre away from him, something emerged from the water. From the corner of his eye, the young wizard thought it was his new friend, but he ended up noticing it was something pink that resembled a fish. Feeling his stomach drop, Edwardus' eyes widened, right before he recognized the animal.

"For the sake of a hundred sacis!" he grunted, feeling calmer as he noticed it was just a boto and not a pirarucu.

Something clicked inside the man's head as he watched the boto swim around himself, making a funny noise that sounded almost like a laughter.

"You son of a bitch!" Lime screamed, ignoring the animal's 'laughter' and looking around. The boat had glided away from him. "I'm not even a woman for you to do that, you idiot!"

The beast didn't seem to mind the cursing, as it followed the wizard while he flapped his arms and legs to reach the boat as fast as he could. The sound of his gramophone was becoming more and more distant as the boat floated way and the night seemed darker, even with the moon illuminating everything around them.

"A damned pink boto!" he kept cursing, even though he knew it would not help his breathing.

When he finally reached the boat and managed to latch onto its hull, he looked around and saw the round, pink head of the boto watching him with mischievous little eyes. In a second, the animal vanished, diving into the water once again, and everything that remained was the music, the river flow and the sounds of the insects. Alright, maybe it was not just that, because, in a certain distance, there was a pair of bright yellow light shining in the darkness.

Edwardus Lima could swear he saw his whole life flashing in front of his eyes.

* * *

Honorato Dias was an experienced captain who knew how to respect and care for the creatures and spirits that inhabited the river that he loved so much. But he also knew how dangerous it could be to bring tourists to that place… Even wizards could be naïve enough to fall for the tricks of creatures unknown to them.

On that night, the old wizard couldn't say he was surprised to hear his passenger screaming. He was also not surprised when he arrived at the deck and saw the young man trying to climb back onto the boat, naked and horrified.

With a swift wave of his wand, he pulled the kid inside, trying not to laugh. The young wizard crawled away from the rail, shaking and cursing.

"I thought I didn't need to warn you about the boto," said Honorato, pulling a pipe and lighting it with a snap of his fingers while looking at the river. He breathed the smoke in and soon allowed it to escape from his mouth, watching as the yellow eyes of a black caiman shone in the distance. "Apparently I'll have to start warning the men about it too."

* * *

 **N/A:** Apparently the art department of the HP movies decided to name the author of the Monster Book of Monsters after one of the designer that worked in the movies, Eduardo Lima, who is Brazilian and work along with Miraphora Mina (you know, the famous Minalima). When I saw that the author's name was a Edwardus Lima, I couldn't help but imagine a Brazilian magizoologist.

I've decided not to translate some words in this story, to keep the original Brazilian words, so:

 **1) Banishment Island:** obviously translated, it means Ilha do Desterro, which is another name for the Island of Santa Catarina, which is part of the city of Florianópolis, in the state of Santa Catarina;

 **2) Great Snake:** Cobra Grande, is part of the folklore about two giant snakes that inhabit the Amazon river;

 **3) Cuca:** a character of the Brazilian folklore, it's a witch that steals children and has the face of a crocodile;

 **4) Saci:** a young, one-legged black boy that play tricks on everyone; the Saci is almost like our version of the faeries;

 **5) Ariranha:** a giant otter ( _Pteronura brasiliensis);_

 **6) Black caiman:** jacaré-açu _(_ _Melanosuchus niger)_ , a large crocodilian that lives in the Amazon river; _  
_

 **7) Dindo:** a loving way of calling a godfather ( _dinda_ for godmother);

 **8) Pink boto:** is an animal that lives in the Amazon river, like a pink dolphin, but also a folklore creature. People say that on full moons, the boto turns into a handsome man wearing white (he never takes his hat off, otherwise he'd show the hole on the top of his head) that woos women to dive into the waters with him, impregnates them and lets them go back to their homes to have their kids;


	2. England, 1945

**England, 1945**

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"I should have thought about it when I published Fantastic Beasts," said Newton Scamander, laughing as he pulled his hand away from the furry book that had tried to bite his fingers.

"I think the kids at Hogwarts and other schools are glad for not having your book trying to eat their fingers." Tina arched a brow, keeping a distance from the table where the book was being exposed, kept inside a wooden box. "And I'm happy you didn't try to make a book that chased kids when you published _A Children's Anthology of Monsters_. I prefer not to worry about Elysander and Mauler being chased by a book."

"Mauler is safe," the wizard whispered. "That kneazle would rip this book apart in seconds. And Elysander is good with beasts."

Porpentina sighed and then laughed, before squeezing her husband's arm. It was funny how Newt's eyes shone with the sight of anything wild, even if it was just a wild book, like that _Monster Book of Monsters_.

"You met this kid, didn't you?" She pointed at the name of the author. "Wasn't him the one that came to visit us?"

"Yes, a Brazilian boy, remember? He's a specialist in aquatic beasts, but decided to research more about dangerous creatures after an incident with a beast during a trip," he explained. "He came to me wanting to know more about the nundu and the erumpent. He even took a look at our specimens."

"Oh, I remember him." Tina cocked her head to the side, before approaching a tower of books and grabbing a copy. She didn't need to wory about her fingers, for the owner of Flourish and Blots had the brilliant idea of strapping the books closed with leather belts. "He was a good kid. But how did he manage to publish something like… this?"

"He's friends with a witch in the publishing house." The man smiled as he saw his wife hugging the book. Tina knew what he enjoyed.

"Don't worry, Newt." The woman took him by the arm, pulling him towards the counter to pay for the book. "You can do a birthday card like this for Elysander or Credence."

She _really_ knew what he enjoyed.


End file.
